Control your anger

Anger is a valid emotion – both to experience and to express. But you and the people around you are not served well by a steady diet of it. Can you learn to control your anger? Yes, you can!
• Get professional help if repeated rage is harming your life.

• Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “No other person makes you angry. You make your angry.” Enter potentially anger provoking situations refusing to be riled. Let your armour be the knowledge that your wrath won’t serve your interests any better this time than it did the last time.

• Stop reaction below the neck, and start thinking above the neck. You are not destined to react with your gut and thereby lose emotional challenges. You can respond with your gray matter and win.

• Recognise that people who are mean, rude, or nasty to you are doing so not so much because they want to hurt you but because they are hurting. It takes considerable pain or fear to cause one person to lash out at another. Do you normally get angry with people who are hurt or fearful?

• Make an honest assessment of the typical results of your outbursts. Do you feel well served by them? If so, why are you reading this list? Resolve to stop shooting yourself in the foot.

• When you feel angry, stop talking. Inhale and exhale deeply, feeling anger leave your body with the spent air. Grab a pen and squeeze, feeling the anger escape through your fingers. Call for a short break and leave the room. When you’re able to speak calmly, describe the anger you felt and move quickly to a solution that might meet the needs of the two of you.

Remember, you can!
Dr David Molapo