AskCSI – Niki Seberini asks when Self confidence is a state of mind and we all have days when , for some reason , we feel more confident that on other days. One of the biggest barriers in building our confidence is the negative, stressful thoughts we have about ourselves eg. “I’m not good enough” “I am not attractive enough” , “I don’t know enough” , “I can never succeed….”, “I don’t deserve to….” , “I’m not qualified to….”.
So, the first thing I do is question the stressful thoughts I am having about myself and my abilities. My “go to person” is Byron Katie andI use her 4 questions: Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure that it’s true? How does it make you feel when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?
Once I am able to release the thoughts that have been holding me back I can start building myself up by doing the following: Planning – thoroughly and carefully preparing myself for the unknown. Dressing for the part – if you look good you feel good. Research – I feel far more confident if I know I can answer questions and handle situations. Open minded – being prepared to learn from my mistakes. Achievements and strengths – I write them down and focus on the good things.
I am heading to my first meeting tomorrow – any advice?
The first thing I would do is be thoroughly prepared. Get as much information about the meeting and the attendees as possible. Plan what you are going to wear – don’t just focus on how you look but also how you feel – there is nothing more distracting than sitting in a meeting and feeling self conscious about a tight fitting top or shoes. Make sure you are on time so your body language and energy reflect a calm confidence. We learn more when we listen more – you don’t have to “oversell” yourself and your ideas in a meeting.
What classes should I take at University to prepare for life and business? Nikki does not have a “business brain” and wish I had taken accounting and business courses along the way. So, I would recommend broadening your skill set and take on other modules or classes – even if you are specialising in a particular area.
AskCSI-Niki Seberini Inspirational
How do you handle feelings of envy when other women are advancing faster than you?
I am inspired by other people’s success and especially their stories of how they became a success. I believe envy is a self defeating emotion as it means you do not have faith in your own abilities. If anything, other peoples’ success pushes me to do more, learn more and inspire more.
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